How Complacency Defeats, Deflates and Devastates Goals
This morning while stretching at the gym I realized that my goals are waning and complacency is taking over my professional life. For the past few weeks, I was excited about new ideas and the possibility of new challenges. I started to pursue these dreams with my excitement. I was ready for the challenge and knowing the hard work that was set before me.
I outlined my dream and how I had not worked towards it progression in some time.
I had begun to work on an online course that would free people from emotional pain and ultimate frustration. I knew it would be a major accomplishment to complete. I knew it would take time for me to complete, but I was excited and begun. Before I begun to work on this project I almost gave my idea away. A problem in my life is I seek approval and recognition.
Slowly, like with all of my ideas, fear began to overtake me.I started to examine where I am in life. I am not happy and I am not doing what I want to do. I am not making nearly the amount of money I know I am worth. I feel my job is a dead-end. There is only so much money a therapist can make. Of course, I will expand my position into coaching and other forms of counseling but what do I do right now?
The problem is I realized that for the past 6 months I have grown complacent in my life.
Now as I sit here in my office, before the start of my work day, I realize that I have learned some things about myself this morning. I knew before that I always let my dreams or ideas fall into a drawer of broken goals because I grow bored with the idea, or I fear failure, or I just feel that the reward will not be worth the effort. Something is different this time.
Before I address this realization, so I can draw strength from this moment for the next time it happens, I would like to look at the reasons why I choose to walk away from an idea:
- Boredom with the idea before it is cultivated. My attention wanes easily. If something is not moving fast enough for me it is easy for me to become bored. This is a curse of the MTV generation. The generation when everything was fast paced and quick. My focus has been trained to last the length of a music video or a quick-paced computer-based game. Most therapists today would say I have ADD or ADHD. I don’t believe in ADD. I believe it is a disease/disorder devised by science to sell drugs like Adderall, which, of course, is speed.Pharmaceutical companies make the drug and it is the job of doctors to create the disorder that can be fixed by the new drug. I don’t have ADD I just get bored easily because when I was growing up the world of information was changing. Quick paced images were flashed in front of my eyes and this is how I learned. I spent most of my days in an arcade playing video games that sent quick fast paced images across a screen at me. I learned to respond to the quickened pace of things and life carried on. Classes in school were a bore. New ways of learning were of value to me. These new ways of learning were not responding to my world.
- Fear of FAILURE. I find the thought of failure mortifying. I have failed miserably throughout my life. Failure never killed me. It’s never really hurt me and I have grown accustomed to it. The problem is once I pull myself out of the perpetual downward spiral that I like to fall into I become happy and dissatisfied with my position. Why would the challenges of doing better for myself cause me to believe that I could never regroup myself? I am not sure, but my director the other day asked me a question and my answer was I am scared. She smiled and said “What? When I hired you two years ago you would have never said you were scared. You would have jumped from rooftop to rooftop to find an answer, a paycheck, love? Failure is a cop-out for being lazy.”
I say, failure is my cop out for me becoming COMPLACENT!
Lastly, Is it worth my effort? I know everything I put my mind to accomplish is worth effort. I know that I will be a better person for this. I know that my life will be fulfilled. When I finish a project I feel so good. I need to remember that finishing and perseverance are reward enough for my effort. If it doesn’t make me $5.2m then so be it as long as it does help others the chance to pursue their goals and live happily. It will make me stronger and a better person for building a course to help others break destructive cycles. It will have intrinsic value and pride. Plus, everyone I have trusted with the knowledge of my project believes in its power and merit.
- Gratitude. Each day I have to remember where I have come from.Who has helped me climb from the gutter of NYC. Most importantly what my accomplishments mean toward the progression of my goal and pursuit of helping others achieve a sense of happiness and accomplishment in their lives.
The real problem is COMPLACENCY. Complacency as defined by Merriam-Webster: “A feeling of being satisfied with how things are and not wanting to try to make them better: a complacent feeling or condition.”
Now that I have figured out how complacency works in my life I will be more aware and mindful about accomplishing goals and progress. I will not let me defeat my goal, nor will I let my day job and colleagues define me. I will push forward with urgency and a new zest for life and accomplishment.
If I do not do this for myself I will never be able to leap off of the 9:00 to 5:00 wheel and back into the entrepreneurial life I choose to live.
I will grow old and unhappy living with the truth that my biggest failure was not finishing my course that could help many others achieve their goals, change behaviors, and be happy.
I am accountable for my happiness and I will practice diligence in the projects that have been started.
The formula that Mr. Leonard Kim describes about how he overcame his failure and depression is a suitable route to follow.
Now that I understand how complacency works within my life I must devise a plan to find a way to keep my goals and pursuits fresh and new in my life, to always keep moving forward in the pursuit of my goals, to keep strengthening my mind by reading as often as possible, and to not let fear of change, work or stepping out of my comfort zone trick me and allow me to become complacent.
I cannot let fear cripple my judgment and my cause me to stop my perseverance. I need to be grateful for where I have come from, in order to keep focus on where I am going,
How does complacency work as a deterrent in your life?